Finally home from the outdoor movie night at the pool and tucked in bed. Two-foot-tall popcorn machine is sitting on kitchen counter but I'll clean it up tomorrow and take it back to Cider Mill we borrowed it from. Ahhh. That movie night was fun. Snuggle under blankets. Husband sleepily pulls all the covers onto his side of the bed and resumes snoring, leaving me cold and exposed. I grudgingly admit I'll miss him for the next five days.
Friday, 7am
Wow? Did I sleep that late? Vaguely remember husband waking me at 4am to say goodbye but fell soundly back to sleep. Took a leisurely shower and tidied up the kitchen. Ate a few handfuls of leftover popcorn from giant machine on counter. Figured cleaning it out could wait until later.
Friday, 8:20am
Woke the kids. Made three different breakfasts. Got ready for work
Friday, 8:25am
Son says, "Mom, if you were to take an oxygen canister into outer space and let all the air out..." I daydream about what I'll watch on TV that night. What's that noise? Is he still talking to me? "...so, really, there's no such thing as size."
"Er...yes," I reply. Eat more popcorn.
Friday, 9am
Kids bicker endlessly in the car on the way to my work. (Commute time: 90 seconds) We've packed a Razor scooter, Rip Stik, laptop, and rollerblades to keep them busy while I work.
Friday, 9:20am
Kids are bored of rolling sports equipment. Take Henry to check out Art Camp that's happening downstairs. Friend is running camp. Figure she won't mind one more camper today. EB fires up the laptop. Has dazed look on her face that can only be brought on by designing dream house on www.Barbie.com.
Friday, 10:20am
Kids are quiet and happy. Henry is working away at Art Camp. EB takes a break from the computer to get her hair cut. Walk her down to the salon and return to work. Feeling productive.
Friday, 12pm
"Pick up" Henry from downstairs Art Camp. Kindly ask my friend/camp director if I should pay her for "watching" Henry all morning. To my surprise, she says "Yes." Write her a check for $30. Realize I've spent all morning at work and will net $3.33. (Not including the haircut.)
Friday, 12:19pm
Home for lunch. Kids begin to bicker again. Make three different lunches.
Friday, 1:30pm
Off to the Pintos to swim. Boy, will it be nice to see some friends and let the kids swim together.
Friday, 1:31pm
Kids bicker in the car. Lose my patience with them and yell. Drop EB off at community pool instead of bringing her to Pintos house. She says, "Good. I think we need some time apart." Peel out of driveway, gravel flying.
Friday, 3:30pm
Had enjoyable time with friends. Plan to go home and put my feet up. Last time I left Kim Kardashian Hollywood app, I was doing a photo shoot in Beverly Hills. Must check to see how many "stars" I've earned.
Friday, 3:31pm
Henry reminds me he needs goggles. Drive to Target. Get goggles and bagel pizzas. (Essentials.)
Friday, 4:30pm
Recline on couch, feet raised. Click on Kim Kardashian Hollywood game but cannot focus on celebrity appearance at Las Vegas nightclub that I'm supposed to be doing. Instead, can't stop thinking about everything that's happened today. Open laptop and begin blog post.
Friday, 5:05pm
Incoming text: "Can you pick me up now?"
Sigh. Gratefully accept friend's offer to drive EB home.
Friday, 5:07pm
Stumped on blog post. Wander into kitchen. Eat more popcorn. Ignore pressing need to remove this monstrosity from my kitchen counter.
Friday, 5:29pm (and 30 seconds)
"Mom, I don't want to do the Lego robotics team this year."
"But you never said that! And we have to be there in LITERALLY thirty seconds."
"Fine."
Friday, 5:35pm
Drop off Henry at Lego robotics meeting. Chaos ensues with boys and girls talking loudly about name of Lego team. Girls insist on "Do you want to build with Legos" sung to tune of insipid song from "Frozen." Hope boys have a better idea. Thirty minutes pass as parents attempt to discuss meeting dates/times over the noise. Can't stop worrying that I left EB home in the shower. Didn't say goodbye. Didn't bring my cell phone with me. Run away from annoying other parent when she tries to engage me in conversation about "my summer." Nearly gasp when new kid walks into team meeting. Isn't that the kid Sue had to stop babysitting because he was so much trouble? What have we gotten into? Promise Henry I'll be back in 30 minutes to pick him up.
Friday, 5:40pm
EB home safe and sound. Not worried about where I was. Kim Kardashian has hired me to buy designs for her new store in Miami Beach! Something is going right for me today!
Friday, 6:29pm
Arrive back at Lego meeting to pick up Henry with EB in tow. Now Henry is having fun. Does not want to leave. Figures. Go for walk around neighborhood with EB. Stop in to see art exhibit at local arts center. Have long conversation with artist who is taking down the exhibit. Don't know much about art; pretended I was still a newspaper reporter and came up with reasonable questions. Husband texts photo of palm trees. If I wasn't joining him in 5 days, I'd cry.
Friday, 6:49pm
Henry still doesn't want to leave Lego meeting. We sit down on floor to "help" him build. Avoid more conversations with uber annoying parent about summer vacation. Awkward. Don't want to hear about their backpacking trip around Europe.
Friday, 7:05pm
Phew. Finally out of the Lego meeting. Stop by McDonalds for dinner just to spite uber annoying family and all other organic food-eating perfectionists.
Friday, 7:25pm
Shouldn't have had that 5th chicken nugget. Consume bowl of popcorn to wash taste of fake chicken out of my mouth. Mmmm...fake butter.
Friday, 8:27pm
Feeling resentful that husband is unavailable for phone call. Who will listen to me unload all my crap and not judge me as world's #1 whiner? Open blog post. Stare blankly at screen. Check game on phone. Holy Kardashians! I've made the C list!!!! So long, suckers on the D list!
Friday, 8:49pm
Is it bedtime yet? Wander into kitchen to examine popcorn machine. Notice all edible popcorn is gone. Grab rag and start washing salt and fake butter stains off of glass. Too much trouble. Leave wet rag on kitchen counter. Open pantry and grab a bag of Skinny Pop popcorn. Stuff into face while watching "Good Eats" with kids.
Friday, 9:03pm
Put on pajamas and hide under covers. Three more days of single parenting. Thankful that ability to blog has saved my sanity. Start mentally drafting tomorrow's post...
