It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here. Yes, I know it’s August but the other day, my own little Brother Bear insisted that I read him
The Berenstain Bears Save Christmas. Sister Bear wandered in during the reading and when it was done, she burst out in “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” and Brother and I enthusiastically joined in. If it wasn’t for the thermometer’s declaring that it was 93 degrees outside, I could have sworn it was December.
In
The Berenstain Bears Save Christmas, Santa Bear discovers that the citizens of Bear Country have been focusing more on shopping, decorating, and baking and less on the spiritual and meaningful parts of Christmas. He threatens to cancel the holidays until he visits the Bear family tree house and sees that Mama, Papa, Sister, and Brother really do know the true meaning of Christmas.
Maybe reading the book is playing tricks on my mind, but despite the heat and humidity, it really does feel like the holidays around here. There are only seventeen summer days left until the kids head to school and Christmas arrives at this Bear family’s tree house. I’ve been waiting eight years for this particular first day of school when Brother Bear, the youngest in our family, starts full-time kindergarten and I’m anticipating it the same way I used to wait for Christmas when I was a child.
The way I figure, this Christmas will be chock full of gifts for Mama Bear. When Brother starts kindergarten, I’ll be free from the chains of “staying home.” Uninterrupted chores, lunch with friends, a stolen moment with the television, an afternoon at the farmer’s market, the opportunity to supplement our measly income…the possibilities seem endless. Without a child in tow, I can finally accomplish, without interruption, those chores and errands that have bugged me for eight years.
I have stayed home to care for our children since the day Sister Bear was born eight years ago. “Staying home” for me meant a steady stream of part-time paid jobs, working nights and weekends when Papa Bear was around to care for the children. During the day, it meant playgroups, swim lessons, trips to the library, Mommy and Me classes, and eventually, a few mornings of preschool. It meant playdough on the kitchen table, storytime on the couch, arts and crafts, bike rides, sledding, and any other kind of fun I could improvise. I think I’m a pretty fun Mama Bear. Just the other day we went to the splash playground and I was out there with the kids making up relay races and games in the sprinklers. For eight years, we played together, laughed together, watched Nick Jr. together, and tried desperately to entertain each other during long cold winter afternoons.
And there were many long cold afternoons. Staying home can be boring, annoying, thankless, and tedious. While my part-time jobs did a lot to save my sanity, at home with the kids, there never seems to be time to think or plan or dream. Instead, my daydreams are often interrupted with a request for more apple juice.
I wonder if things are about to change. With the cubs in school for six hours every day, will I find time to get some peace of mind?
For all my talk of watching TV and browsing at the mall, I know I’m kidding myself. Somehow my part-time jobs will start to become closer to full-time and we will use our extra income to fix things around the tree house instead of our much talked-about tenth anniversary celebration. Brother Bear’s teacher will surely ask for help in the classroom and there will inevitably be sick days for all. Half of my friends still have little ones at home so unless I plan to head to their house for PB&J, a leisurely lunch with stimulating conversation is probably not going to happen.
Santa Bear might be on to something. This Mama Bear needs to stop making a list and checking it twice. Instead, I need to focus on the simpler things. When the kids are at school, I really will try to set aside a few minutes for quiet thought. After all, I have a lot to think about after the last eight years. I spent all that time raising two smart, happy, self-assured, and thoughtful children. And just because the kids are in school doesn’t mean my job is done. Instead, I hope that from now on I can meet those challenges with a clearer mind and a new perspective. It will be kind of like having a white Christmas.
