The kids will be headed back to school in less than a month and after a long summer of staying up late, parents will finally regain control of the remote during prime time. Because of my vast experience watching television, the staff at “That’s Another Story” nominated me to preview some of the fall’s best new TV shows and report back with my findings.
“Vampire Mom”
Research has shown that viewers of all ages can’t get enough of vampire dramas. This fall, television executives are launching a record number of these shows and the best amongst the group is “Vampire Mom.” The hour-long drama stars Molly Ringwald as a young hip mother who turns into a blood-sucking vampire after she’s tucked in her five-year-old twins. In an Emmy-worthy episode, Ringwald decides she’s tired of hiding her vampire alter-ego and invites her neighbors over for a friendly game night…after dark. Despite applying about a case of Lancome bronzer and exhibiting a heroic amount of self-restraint, our heroine can’t hide her fangs and the party ends in a bloodbath.
“School Nurse”
Dramas about doctors and hospitals are always popular with audiences and “School Nurse” is no exception. The same drama, tragedy, romance, and fast-paced suspense that you’ve seen in hospitals like Seattle Grace or County General can be found at Maple Street Middle School. The best part of this show is that it stars gorgeous and talented actress Angelina Jolie, who is taking her first job on the small screen playing the heroine, Nurse Maryellen Slate. Nurse Slate has her work cut out for her with six solid hours a day of twisted ankles, scoliosis screenings, and upset stomachs. In one heart-pounding scene, she’s frantically treating a bee sting on soccer field when she’s called on her walkie talkie to assist with vomiting in the cafeteria. The final scene of the first episode is sure to shock audiences when they see that Nurse Slate is having a clandestine affair with the school’s vice principal. Look out “Grey’s Anatomy” fans: their love scene in the cafeteria kitchen amidst the hamburger buns would put McDreamy to shame.
“Law and Order: Petty Theft Unit”
This crime drama continues in the great tradition of “Law and Order” but focuses on crime in a typical American small town. What makes this show so great is that the criminals look just like you and me. In fact, one of them looks a lot like me, but the opening credits said that the story was completely fictional so it can’t be true. In that episode, guest star Kate Winslet (now a brunette with freckles and glasses), portrays a young mother named Lauren, who was caught by the police climbing through a neighbor’s window. Lauren offers a lame excuse about rescuing some hermit crabs that were on the brink of starvation and the cops decide to bring her down to the station. There she is questioned for hours by Detective Ben Benjamin, played smartly by handsome “Mad Men” star Jon Hamm. After hammering her with questions about the feeding habits of hermit crabs, the sexual tension practically explodes. Finally, the detective is so charmed by her adorable British accent he dismisses the case and invites her to dinner.
“The Valley”
This docu-drama combines the best elements of Bravo’s “The Real Housewives” and MTV’s “The Hills.” It follows the lives of four privileged elementary school students living in the Mohawk Valley of central New York State. Clay is a hockey player who is just as smooth off the ice as he is on. Whether Clay is scoring goals or mastering his math facts, everyone wants to trade their Silly Bandz with this guy. Allison may be only 7 years old, but she’s already on the road to becoming a beauty queen. At the Miss Utica pageant, Allison’s mother gets into a fistfight with another parent when she finds out that the girls have the same talent routine (twirling batons to Britney Spears’ “Oops! I Did It Again”). The other characters are just as entertaining: Milton the class bully has two Daddies and Genevieve is the daughter of a French diplomat who lost his millions and is forced to live on a farm. Parents take note: they’re already casting for season 2.
“Fear Factor: Family Edition”
In the newest version of this popular prime-time game show, families are put through a series of pulse-racing challenges to see if they have what it takes to conquer their fears. In the season premier, the show’s producers tell Mom that she will have the entire day to herself without the kids at home. Mom is barely unable to overcome her fear of setting aside her daily routine of dishes, laundry, and vacuuming but if she wants to win, she must sit back and relax for the entire day. The next day, daughter Liz is forced to eat dinner at the family picnic table, which is known to be the home of earwigs and daddy long legs. Can she finish her hamburger without screaming and running in fear of the insects? Son Andy must confront his fear of the dark when he’s challenged to go into his unlit closet and retrieve an old toy. To challenge Dad, the producers secretly steal his cell phone and watch as Dad fumbles through a day without text messages, GPS, and games of solitaire. Can this family face their greatest fears? Tune in this fall to find out.
We hope that you will find time to fit at least one of these shows into your television-watching schedule. Please use the poll on the right side of the screen to vote for your favorite show. Happy watching!
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