Wrong Number

Wednesday, May 6, 9:42 a.m.
Phone rings.

Laura: Hello?
Caller: Um...yeah...hello...is Fred Turner there?
Laura: No. There's no one here by that name.
Caller: Oh. There's no Mr. Turner there?
Laura: No.
Caller: Oh. Is this 315?
Laura: Yes.
Caller: Is this 315-853?
Laura: Yes.
Caller: Is this 315-853-2694?
Laura: No. You've got two numbers mixed up.
Caller: Oh. I meant, is this 315-853-2964?
Laura: Yes, but there's no Mr. Turner.
Caller: Oh. Well, did Mr. Turner used to live there?
Laura: No.
Caller: Oh. Well, did the man that used to live there repair clocks?
Laura: No. The man that used to live here was a psychiatrist.
Caller: Oh. Is this Clinton, NY?
Laura: Yes.
Caller: Do you know a Mr. Turner who repairs clocks?
Laura: No.
Caller: Oh dear. I've been holding on to this number for several years. I have a clock that needs to be fixed.
What Laura wanted to say: Lady, you need more than your clock repaired.
What the always polite Laura really said: Sorry I can't help you. Good luck!